When You “Miss” the “Communication” you will “MisCommunicate!”

1. The Bias of Difference

2. The Difference of Perspective 

3. The Perspective of Purpos

4. The Purpose of the Communication 

A wise man said “when the purpose of a thing is not known it leads to abuse” when we have mishaps in our communication it is because we have “missed” a very important element of the communication process somewhere along the line.

Most of the time we miss these important elements because of 
*Bias of Difference*how we are different to others, men are different from women and will project our ideas and expectations from our unique bias. We have different types of biases as humans, some related to gender, some experiences, some expectations some situations, can you think of any other?

Difference of Perspective

We are different and feel differently about issues  andour perspectives to issues are bound to be different, we  present these perspectives in our communication which is bound to generate conflict if not managed with wisdom

Perspective of Purpose

Conflicts arise because of bias of difference and difference of perspective, only the perspective of purpose can heal the divide, this is when you begin to query what really brought you together in the first place and what is or should be keeping you together? What does your relationship represent or stand for? Perspective of purpose will help align us and give us a reason to agree or reorganize our relationships 

Purpose of the Communication

When the purpose of our relationship and engagement in that situation is brought to the fore it helps us to then answer the question “what is this current communication supposed to achieve?”  Once you know this it helps you to understand how to deal with the persons involved, the issues being raised and the emotions in the light of purpose

Hearing & Listening… RE: Harry & Meghan.

If you are not given elaborate prose, just read the next statement in bold to get the gist!


We should all learn lessons from Harry Meghan and the British Royal Family issues. We should look beyond specifics, events and deeply examine the fundamentals that are broken to fix our own community.

We should focus on fixing ourselves as men and women, in so doing revisit our roles in community and society… let’s ask ourselves “how far have we fallen from Gods original intent?”

“If the foundations be destroyed what can the righteous do?”


first things first

  • Harry and Meghan are not right in this matter,
  • Neither is the royal family is right, but two wrongs to make a right!
  • We are also not right in getting on the media band wagon.

Christians, Christian leaders and mature people in society should generally be careful how we judge matters, we should think deeply about the matters at play here before we start making conclusions.


There are a few things to consider in this case of Harry and Meghan beyond the obvious issues of race. There are a few factors at play within the situation at hand that we should consider altogether to make a sound judgement.


We should realise that what we are dealing with is a “media storm and flood” and like every storm and flood it attacks structures and foundations. What is this flood eroding?


The family is the foundation of society, much damage has been done to the family structure over the decades. History has shown us that when the parent/children/ sibling dynamics are disrupted in one generation, it’s the future society that pays the price. So in such cases as this.

It is important for us to consider what damages this storm will leave in its wake…. Is it going to futher destroy this already fragile system or strengthen it?

    The British Society is an institution, (not a perfect one) but much of the western concept of life is based in the British culture.

Many of us live in the west, we have children here, they have a future in the west or a derivative culture, as the African Sages will say, when a child cuts a tree the elder know where the tree will land. I feel all should be able to look and see beyond this issue and help guide how and where this big tree will land, the tree we cut now always lands in the future, even if the future is just 6seconds away!

What many may not notice is the generational undertones in this dialogue, there is an older generation that think Harry and Meghan should
be stripped of their titles and a younger who are sympathetic to the couple. Whilst we are all getting on the racism bandwagon, what about the generations?

The generation X and Y think very differently, even though it is a very powerful undercurrent to present culture, we do not realise that a lot of what we call modern culture are more representations of generational distinctions.


    I didn’t mean any disrespect with this, I am pointing out the state of young men his age, given what he has been through (childhood, sibling, family trauma), Like many millennials, he is disconnected from established perceptions of culture, he is seeking definition and meaning in life.

When I use this words “broken”, “disturbed” and “disillusioned” kindly read it in context my opening paragraph. We are ALL shaped by our past and experience, there is no human on this planet who is not experiencing brokenness, including myself, this is why Christ has come to fix our broken heart and lives.

I know Meghan had a troubled childhood, she like many of us still carries these scars, I am pointing these out so we realise it is one of the cogent factors in this saga.


This is another factor we should consider, in the courts of law before the judges and jury will make a decision on any case. They would be satisfied that those who are presenting evidence are not are not compromised in anyway in their credibility, objectivity and motive.

Unfortunately, the media that is supposed to shape the conscience of the nations responds to Money and other selfish agenda for the profit of a few not the good of all.

I pointed this out to let us realise that the media in the last four years have shown themselves to be compromised on the issues relating to politics, culture and well being of society,

We see the roles they still play in keeping us conformed to a way of life and thinking that disempowers, divides and diminishes, they may have the best of intentions, not the best of outcomes

Lets take a step back from the sentiment triggers they know gets us riled to make judgments, they are very well skilled at manipulating the public jury!


This is another factor I believe is important to consider, no matter how hard it is to swallow, we are quite gullible as the public. Not by choice but by lack of it.

We have very limited options for information that shapes our decisions, we have therefore been trained through “reinforcement” to make decisions based on psychological and sentimental triggers simply because we do not all have access to the TRUTH of all situations presented to us.

This becomes a problem because, we still make judgement and decisions anyway with or without information, whenever we don’t have information we make “estimations” as you know estimations are not accurate. This is why public opinion is always based on trending sentiment rather than sound tested logic. Should this continue to be so?


Our opinions and jugdements should be precious, we must use it carefully to shape the future and not play into the hands of charlatans.

I believe this should be obvious, not all who speak for Meghan and Harry, nor the Royal HouseHold do it because they genuinely love and care for the people concerned. “They either get paid to sway our opinions or get paid from swaying our opinions”


The christian thing to do is to look at facts in the Light of TRUTH. Many think affirming facts is the same as truth. No!!! Truth looks deeper than the issue, beyond the sentiments emotions and quick judgement and thinks of present tense realities and future impact.

Affirming facts is not the same thing as telling truth!

Let’s remember that Marriage is a union of cultures, if the culture of the wife and husband is not compatible there is bound to be problems. Here are some facts to consider

FACT 1. Harry comes from a family that is the icon and bastion of the British (and western) lifestyle and culture, he is not just another guy on the street!


this is why families should do thier due diligence like Eleazer did for Isaac’s sake, I believe Harry in choosing to marry Meghan has exposed his family and its legacy to a different culture that doesn’t appreciate, respect, honour nor regard it. By this I mean, you can only appreciate, respect, honour and regard a culture that you are part of, know of, desire etc

We see Ruth saying to Naomi, “your people shall be my people, your God my God”, even though she was a stranger to the culture of Israel, her exposure to Naomi gave her a glimpse of what it was and she made a choice to choose Naomi’s people, God and ways, this was what helped her to integrate properly into Israel as Boaz wife in David’s and Jesus Ancestry.

When Abraham asked Eleazer to go get him a wife from amongst his people, it was because of “cultural congruence” we see Jacob also follow in the same footsteps, he went to his mothers people to seek out a wife, Esau was a grief to his father because he took wives from the children of the land.

I believe Harry should have counted the cost of marrying Meghan, if I remember correctly, Meghans dad and former husband did speak up then to warn about her…. he didn’t pick the cues!

I am not saying people shouldn’t marry from other cultures, this is why I used Ruth example, I am highlighting that naturally existing cultural congruence was what made Isaac and Jacobs marriage work the way it did, in the case of Ruth she choose “cultural acclimatization” to achieve cultural congruence.

FACT 2. All information required was readily available, even though not in the expected form.


Many times in marriages we don’t know how to pick up red flags that can prevent chaos in the future. When i wrote about the signals from Meghansa dad on a post. Someone responded to my statement with a retort about Meghans fathers conduct in her life, as an irresponsible dad.. i know this to be the fact, however I believe the fact that he spoke up, what he said, her history and testimony should have provided Prince Harry with enough fact for him to make a calculated assessment of what the future could be like.

I don’t believe he would have wanted to part with his family because of his wife. He is now being forced like Adam to give up his birthright because of her. Nothing wrong with this if he had already made the assessment, counted the cost and made his choice, if that were the case then we are all simply being manipulated, If not so, it shows a little near sightedness on his part.

FACT 3. Choices naturally come with consequences
I asked “why don’t they move on in peace?”


Adam was already in the marriage, He knew Eves decision meant death and separation from God, he still choose to eat the fruit because he loves his wife, (even though all of us his children are still paying for their decisions).

A scripture says, “blessed is the man who does not condemn himself in what he allowed”

When mature adults make a choice we also choose the consequences. once you marry, you assume maturity and responsibility).Its not good to bring the hoary heads of their parents and grandparents to such grief… I speak not as a man of race or colour, I speak for the sake of society. He is still a son to someone, he is part of a family, he is still required to honour his parents.

To those who feel differently, put yourself in the shoes of the Windsor family, if you were the Queen, the brother, uncle, father or sister of Harry, would you like to be subjected to the public jury in such ways? We all find it very easy to talk eloquently about race, yet we are all in our own personal lives even worse discriminators of others. Because our own secret thoughts haven’t been brought on air doesn’t make us saints!

We all need to get back to a culture where we still respect godly authority, parental authority is still a very important part of divine governance. Though we have issues with PERSONS of authority, we should be careful how we deal with the ROLES of Authority.

I know the British system definitely has contributed to the breakdown of the family structure, so maybe this is what is also coming in to bite them… I leave that for God to be the judge.

We should all be careful before we jump on to the race card, There are different kinds of divisive philosophies that fracture the human society… race is one of them, both those who perpetuate it and those who respond to it continue to give the idea life!)

Racism, Classism, Sexualism, Genderism (Feminism &Chauvism) whenever we allow these cards to be played it takes our eyes off our common humanity and brokenness, it makes us take a side, this can never heal society.

I want to encourage all to play the human card, as far as the Lord God is concerned there is only one human race, he has only varied our body features not to differentiate us but reveal his richness, creativity, attention to detail and create a system where we all need one another..

I don’t believe in black, I believe there are Africans and we have something to offer the world… the question is “what does that look like?”



God… & Politics?

What has God to do with Politics?
Christians across the world are wondering how to relate to the reality of politics. We have ignored it to our own peril, we have participated and have been smeared! (The evangelicals in America are taking the heat for thier association with President Trump.) what’s most disheartening is the attitude of fellow Christians to one another as we try to change the world with the best of intents. So why is this topic of politics so controversial? Should we be involved at all? If so how? Let’s explore the thought.

Damned if you do and damned if we dont..

We are told the following by the world and our leaders

  1. Church should not be in politics, because there must be a separation between church and state
  2. Christians should be in politics so that you can be amongst those who make laws

Which should you believe? And can we do?

You can easily see the root of the confusion for Christians. If we get involved, we get vilified by the world for mixing ”church” and ”state” if we do not get involved, we get harangued by fellow Christians of being lazy, unfruitful and impotent in society. Why is this ? What should we do?

Remove the Mask…First!

remove the face mask, reveal the Christian, reveal the Kingdom!

The argument to separate Church and State, proposes the church as an organization and institution that is not welcome in influencing the political process.

This has successfully ostracised the influence of Christian thought through its institutions. We fell for this trap, we were given the face-mask of ”church” as our main identity, we have not focused on our real identity.

Christians are not a faith, neither are we a religion, WHAT ARE CHRISTIANS?

Yes we have organisations and institutions, but we are not organisations and institutions

Eugene Ajayi

Yes we have organisations and institutions, but we are not organisations and institutions. Wearing the identity of a religion is like wearing a red hat in The market square, easy to identify, like a “heat signature” our buildings, events, activities are so obvious, our organisations are mostly registered to the state and regulated by the state.

There is nothing wrong with our organisations complying with our state and national laws however we must understand the limitations and risks of being identified by the world solely as religious institutions and organisations. This makes it easy for Satan our adversary to locate and stump our operations at will. We can see these on Facebook, social media and regular Media, the ridicule and the mockery that the body of Christ faces everyday on account of the activities of the “churches”, ”pastors” and ”Christians”

Contrast this with the days of Jesus, they couldn’t locate Jesus in a building, neither his disciples were easy to spot, stop or eradicate. This is because as the Lord Jesus said to Nicodemus “ the wind blows where it wants, no man where it’s going to or where it is coming from, so is a man born of the spirit” if this is what its supposed to be, why then have we become so predictable, discernible and stoppable by the world?

It is because we have taken on an identity as the “other religion” amongst many others, therefore all it takes to shut us down is to restrict this identity, what if we have another identity that is more powerful and unrestricted?

Christians -Patriots of Christs Nation

We are a spiritual race and culture, the only other race asides from the sons of Adam.

Eugene Ajayi

Christians are a spiritual race and culture, the only other race asides from the sons of Adam. It must be really concerning to the cloud of witnesses who bled and died for us to receive citizenship in Christ to see how we relate to this great heritage, how we have made it a cheap religion rather than a regal occupation of a spiritual bloodline of Christ exercising dominion over the gates of hell in order to actively help other sons of Adam to successfully emigrate and integrate with the kingdom of God.

Christians want to change the world,

Christians are probably the only people group in the whole world who care enough about the world to pray everyday for the world, its people and leadership. Billions of hours of volunteer time is being given everyday across the nations to do good works and speak good words to the citizens of our nations.

The world doesn’t play fair…

The hypocritical government of this world however still allow other organisations and institutions to sponsor and influence decisions under different guises for political, economic, military and ideological interests, whilst they have convinced themselves and ourselves that we dont need to be involved. Even when Christians join politics because they want to change the world, the counter logic of worldly governance and politics incapacitates them.

The outcomes the Christian what to produce relies of the logic of truth, transparency, restoration, self sacrifice, love and care whilst that of the world is based on rhetoric, manipulation, self seeking, extractive ideologies …this means it is hard for a true Christian to survive in such systems except if the nation or system they exist in are built upon principles congruent with the Christs principles.

So what do we do?

Christ calls us as his nation Ekklesia to disciple the nations we exist in or are sent to “Disciple all nations” as a “holy nation and royal priesthood”

How can we as Christians (2 billion + ) then transform the world if we are not allowed to participate in politics?

Kind for kind…

It takes a nation to transform another nation, since they will have similar systems, it becomes easy to transform aspect because they are the same type of entity

Every nation has

  1. Citizens who express it
  2. An Authority that defines it
  3. Laws that regulates it
  4. Government that facilitates it
  5. Culture that shapes it

Citizenship & Culture
In order for us to transform the world around us, we need to influence the Citizens of nations (tribes) of Adam, as Citizens of Christs kingdom. Our tool of transformation is the Culture of our Christ who is our Authority

Our Authority, Christ, has already contended with their Authority (Satan and the gates of hell) and won the rights for us as his ambassadors to “occupy” the spiritual spaces and “recivilise” (I.e disciple) the citizens of the nations to become his own citizens or learn to operate in his own ways on the earth.

This is the basis of our mandate to disciple the nations, (i.e his complete work of redemption that recovered the title deeds to the rest of creation from Satan. So this area is well covered.

Government & Laws
This is the point we struggle, We are trying to change and affect the governmental systems of this world using our “temples” rather than our Ekklesias.

Our places and acts of worship are not able to transform a world that has chosen not to engage in worship, except in worship of its own self. The ekklesia is our own way of legislation, judiciary and excecution in our kingdom…In order for us to transform the context of living and life in the nations we must engage the nations like for like.

Should Christians be in Politics?

Yes! a Christian is a subject of heaven that resides in a real estate owned by his father and king. He exists as an ambassador of Love with his brothers and sisters to persuade men and women to give their allegiance to Christ and adopt his ways. Because he lives in the world he participates in every aspect of life, but his real power is not his vote, nor his ability to stand in a political office, even he should if he could, the Christians power lies in his

  1. Right to manage outcomes through prayers
  2. Ability to influence a change of heart that leads to a change of choices
  3. Capacity to change culture from ground up

Our most effective tool is therefore not socio political, it is spirito-cultural (influencing culture through the spiritual authority conferred to us by our king.) This is with the expression of apostolic Christianity in a location or region that we express in pervasive socio-cultural and socio-economic operations to rebuild stable societies according to Christs principles.


We are ambassadors in every area of society, including politics, but we should engage with the main aim to touch the hearts, challenge the thinking and help people to change their ways and culture to Christs

We should operate more incarnation-ally within society much more than institutionally, we must exist as a people within the people, a tribe within a tribe, a nation within a nation rather than as a motley of organisations. The world responds to like for like

We need to sort out our governance models for our local and regional colonies in such ways that it facilitates and enhances the kingdom way of life for Christian people. Of course this takes a lot of maturity, but it is achievable

We have good numbers in the world, if we could pay attention to the script we have been handed by our predecessors and do what Christ commanded, we could change the whole world in a few short years …

Someone is asking, can you change the world? Didn’t God say all these bad stuff will happen?

Yes he did, he did say bad stuff will happen, but our job is to still shine and occupy in the midst of the darkness until Christ comes to take us home, and then darkness can have its full sway…. we are authorised to disrupt darkness as much as we want particularly if it helps to draw the people of the nations to come under the spiritual nation and government of Christ.

would love to hear your thoughts

Eugene Bayo Ajayi

Christians: Gods Power Grid!

Power is all about continuous directional flow of potential energy. This is what we call kinetic energy, however energy can only flow when there is a favourable conduit.

Christ is the POWER of God and the WISDOM God needed to light the rest of creation. Christians are the PARTicles of Light that for the PARTS of his Power Grid, His Ekklesia is the delivery system of his power and grace to the rest of creation.

How do you become part of the conduit? How do you ensure you are not insulating his power through the flesh, self, sin and ignorance? Listen and be “transformed”

Continue reading


How does the truth of Gods word apply to the reality of our times? Is there a one size fits all rule in all cases of separation and divorce?

Are you damned if you consider remarriage after divorce or separation in all cases? How does a loving and just God view these issues affecting his children and the world?

God still presides over marital issues and also over the hearts of men and women, whilst we look at the outward appearance he looks at the heart. He not only deals with the issues of the heart, he also deals with the heart of issues.

What is the heart of the issue?

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Ultimately the outcomes of society boil down to the man and the woman, the husband and the wife, as it was in the garden, the ultimate fight of good against evil is fought and won in the home.

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Sons, Children or Illegitimates?

God is calling out of the church ‘the Kingdom!’ of Sons. The kingdom is fullest expression of Gods government representing on earth,it is the full fruit of his seeding process since Eden, the kingdom is many sons (Greek- hyios) reaped from a perfect seed of one (Christ)

Gods kingdom is a kingdom of sons, (hyios) and not just children (Greek – tecknon). Children may resemble the father in image but not in stature of life, character and operation

“Hyioses ” are Sons who have come of full age, and resemble the father in image and likeness, form and nature, principle and function, character and operation…

To these sons he allots an inheritance, and gives the power of attorney and the right to represent him before the created order, they have the right to put down spiritual rebellion, it is the right and responsibility of these sons to enforce the triumph that Christ obtained, and fulfil what Christ set out to do, I.e subjugating the gates of hell and spoiling her goods!

To these sons the Heavenly Father declares before creation and to creation “this is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased, hear him!”
Nature and circumstance will obey the sons as they walk creation out of bondage from the powers of darkness and bring her into majestic manifestation of sonship.

There is a call for the sons to arise, sons whose lives are characterised not by what they need from the father, but what the Father needs to be done, they are a living sacrifice!

Sons who are 100% led by the spirit of God, not personal ambition, sons in whom the devil hath nothing! Sons who will only do what the father is doing and not what they want! – they are a prepared body for Christ!

Sons who are affirmed by heaven and not by men, they have no member on and of this earth, they belong to another kingdom, they represent another kingdom, they are registered officers of the highest throne, they are known in heaven, earth and hell!

These sons must now begin to koinonia as sons, to harness and pool in the fullness of Christ, working in perfect apostolic and prophetic synergy to form and envision the body to represent Christ, for we are many lights, parts of the one true light, that must come together in precise frequency of luminosity together, to reveal Christ who is the light. All sons within the spectrum of the Light must converge to reveal Christ, all streams of grace must coalesce to form and constitute his fullness and mature presence, for only when Christ is fully represented do we have his kingdom fully manifest!

Eugene Adebayo Ajayi
A Bond Servant of the Kingdom of Heaven